An Open Letter to my Ex

Valentine's Day is coming up, so in preparation for the big holiday there is a bit of an overshare today...  So if you don't like to read personal things about me, check back tomorrow when I have something different to say.  If an overshare is just what you needed, keep on reading. 

This is an open letter to all my ex-boyfriends.  It's for all of them.  So if I ever called you my boyfriend at some point in my life, this one's for you.  So if you know one of them you can pass this on, or not - Enjoy. 



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Dear Ex Boyfriend,

I hope that someday this letter finds you, wherever you are in life.  You have made me overjoyed and disappointed all at the same time.  I am happy about the time we spent together.  You taught me so much about relationships, but more importantly you taught me about myself. 

I still think of all you fondly from time to time... 

When I listen to If You Could Only See by Tonic, I think of you.

When I listen to Wonderwall by Oasis, I think of you.

When I walk into a museum, I think of you.

When I eat shrimp cocktail, I think of you.

When I cross state lines, I think of you.

When I get butterflies in my stomach, I think of you.

When I hesitate in a new relationship, I always think of you.

You don't leave me memory, no matter how many years have past, and you'll never go away for good.  These are the moments I look back on and feel grateful for the "us" that we had.  Don't feel bad that things ended, there was nothing left to give.  I realize, because of you, that I don't need a relationship to be happy.  Happiness comes from me, not you.  You have contributed to my joy as well as my sorrow.  There are scars that you made that no one will be able to repair, but I prefer to be damaged than not know what love is.

I'm glad that you have moved on with your life.  I know we don't talk anymore, and that's the way it has to be.  That has nothing to do with you, it's all about my open-wounds and how I've chosen to heal them.  Seeing someone from my past can make me feel so insecure about myself, and I don't need that in my life. 

Even though I'm single, I still believe that I will find someone for me eventually.  I won't seek it out, or make plans to date anytime soon.  Been there, done that.  No matter what I do, I can't wrap my mind around a committed relationship in the near future.  I think it just needs to come to me organically.  Someday, someway this will happen. 

I wish you well, and I hope that you love the life you've chosen for yourself.  I also hope that you can appreciate the time you had with me, if it was for many years or just a few months out of your life.  You weigh on me when I think of what I want in a partner.  Thank you for all the wisdom you've brought me.    

Sincerely,
Emily


Wheeew....  I was second guessing each paragraph of that letter.  But if your reading this, that means I had to the guts to post this (yikes). 

That's it for now.  Do any of you have words of wisdom from an ex?  I'd love to know in the comments if you care to share. 

Thanks for reading! 




   

Target Tuesday: Peter Pilotto Collection

This past Sunday I went to my local Target to check out the new Peter Pilotto collection.  If you are not aware, Target collaborates with well known fashion designers from season to season.  The collections are very fashion forward and usually give the average person a chance to own a piece of "designer" goods that's affordable and attainable to the masses. 

That being said, I was excited to see this collection in person.  I have been look at the press release photos for the past few weeks and I was trying to imagine how I would style some of the women's fashions.  After seeing everything in person, I decided it was better to save my money for another collaboration on the clothing front.  The pieces, to me, are not as wearable in the Midwestern location that I live.  I find them very beautiful, but too bold for me and my personal style. 

Of course I had to buy something....  I did pick up the Peter Pilotto for Target Beach Tote - Black/White Print.  It retails for $39.99 and it's pretty roomy and large - lots of great organization pockets in the interior as well.  It pretty sturdy and it has a nice water resistant coated nylon exterior.  The print is subtle with still being pretty fashion forward. 

Did any of you pick up anything from this collection?  I'd love to know.  Leave a comment if you care to share.

Thanks for reading!

Makeup Monday: Haul - CVS, Walgreens & Target

I have a HUGE haul for y'all!  I've been running low on a few staple drugstore makeup & skincare items so I thought I would stock up this past weekend.  I also have a running list of new things I want to try out, so I went for it!  I love to cross things "off" the list.  Here is a run down of all the fun goodies I picked up...

In order from left to right...

CVS - Maybelline Instant Age Rewind Brightener
CVS - Tweezerman Skin Care Tool
CVS - Kardashian Beauty Honey Stick Lip Gloss - Orange Blossom
CVS - Maybelline DreamLumi Touch - Radiant
Target - e.l.f Studio Contour Brush
Target - Goody Ribbon Elastics
CVS - Cetaphil Daily Facial Cleanser
CVS - Out the Door Top Coat
CVS - Essie - Ignite the Night
CVS - Sally Hansen Triple Shine - Seanic
Walgreen's - L'Oreal Nail Polish - It's now or never
Walgreen's - Maybelline Waterproof The Rocket - Very Black
Walgreen's - Conair Styling Essentials Hair Lifting Comb

So that's it for now.  I will be doing some fun manicures coming up with all the new polish I just got.  I'm pretty excited for the Essie polish.  I've been looking all over for this, I've read great reviews - so glad I found it.  Also let me know if there is anything photographed that you'd like me to review, or give my first impressions on. 

What are your favorite drug store makeup products?  Leave a comment below if you care to share.

Thanks for reading!

Sundays....

Today is Sunday.  It's a time to get things done.  Sunday is typically the ONLY day off I have during any given week so I like to make to most of my free time.  I used to wake up around 8am, get ready and do all my shopping before lunch time.  I don't know what it is about getting things done before lunch, but it makes me feel so productive! 

After moving to Fargo (you can read about that here) I haven't been able to keep that schedule.  No retail stores open up in this town until NOON!  I mean, come on...  It's been a little difficult to re work my schedule around this crazy law.  I guess there was some sort of law passed in ND that retail stores are not allowed to sell goods until noon on Sundays - I still don't get it, but whatever.

So now Sundays are my days to sleep in and do laundry.  I know, it sounds so boring, and it is.  After the noon hour hits I am off like a rocket buzzing from one store to the next trying to squeeze all my errands into one day.  For some reason I never feel as accomplished when I get back home around dinner time...  Must me the OCD in me!  ha-ha

Today I am off to Walgreen's & CVS - I have a list of new makeup at the drugstore I want to check out.  I think I'll be picking up some staple skincare that I'm running low on too.  Tomorrow a haul will be up for Makeup Monday.  Make sure to stay tuned for that. 

So do you have any strange gripes about your town?  Let me know in the comments if you care to share.

Thanks for reading!

Justin Timberlake: Sneak Peek

Howdy y'all!  I went the Justin Timberlake concert last night. It was amazing, as he always is. I have been to all of his solo career concerts and this one was the best one yet!  Here's a little video I took of my boy, JT, doing a little flash back song by Bell Biv DeVoe

 

I will post more photos and write about my entire experience in a few days. I have lots of fun photos to edit!  Look for that post coming up sometime next week. 

Thanks for reading! 

Fashion Friday: Target vs. PINK Sweatshirt Faceoff

Today I'm going to compare two different styles of cute sweatshirts.  My usual weekend "uniform" is yoga pants and an oversized sweatshirt.  This is such a comfortable outfit choice when I'm busy running around town and/or doing things around my apartment.  Do you have a weekend uniform??

I recently picked up a new sweatshirt at Target.  I did a "Target Tuesday" haul here if you'd like to revisit that blog post.  The other top I got a Victoria's Secret PINK back in December.  These are called the Boyfriend Crew.  They typically change in design from season to season.  I found a less printed pattern a while back, but the same print may still be available in store.



Photo Credit:  Target & Victoria's Secret PINK

 

 

The green top from Target retails for $16.00, but is now on a temporary price reduction online.  So it's a steal at $12.74.  I found this Xhilaration top in the sleepwear section.  There are a few other colors to pick from.  I also have my eye on the grey one - I may have to pick that one up during this sale.... 

 

The VS PINK brand tops are great and retail for $44.95.  If you get promotional coupons in the mail, you may be able to find a small discount, but they usually don't have big sales on their merchandise. 

 

All in all, the overall look and material is very comparable.  The one from PINK is very long in the body and arms, which gives it an oversized look.  The Target top is not as long, but I still like the feel of this.  I'm not a huge fan of writing or text on my casual tops, but I don't mind a little bit (like the one photographed)  The better deal is the hands down the Target top, but if you like more of a tunic look or lots of text on your sweatshirt the VS PINK one would be for you.

 

So, which one is your favorite?  I'd love to know in the comments below if you care to share. 

 

Thanks for reading!

Rita Lucille

Today is going to be a more somber post.  I'm going to talk a bit about my Grandma, Rita.  She passed away 13 years ago today.  But it feels like yesterday, I even remember what I was wearing when I got the news...  I was at work, and left after my mom called me.  I couldn't fathom spending another moment at work doing such trivial things when I was needed elsewhere.  I can still visualize all of the family congregating at the nursing home to comfort my Grandfather in his unimaginable grief.  He was sitting in a chair just outside her room.  He looked so small, so broken, so sad.  I think that was the first time, as an adult, I hugged him.  His pain was palpable - I could feel it from his chest, heaving as he sobbed when I wrapped my arms around this small frail man.  

In grief, there is pain.  But with pain, there is release.

It was a sad day, but I'd like to remember the wonderful memories with Rita... 

She was amazing woman and I will always remember her fondly.  After someone passes away, you always think that there was never enough time...  But in my case, I wouldn't have done anything different with the time I was given with my loved Grandmother. 
 
She was sweet, kind, caring, and all the things a grandmother should be.  The best thing she ever taught me was unconditional love.  I knew that my parents had to love me because, you know, they're my parents.  But the unconditional love of a grandparent isn't always a "given" in this life.  She was the first person, outside of my parents, to ever give me that.  She also showed me, and told me. 
 
She showed me how much she cared, by being generous with her time.  I never felt like I inconvenienced her life by stopping by unannounced, or calling anytime of the day.  She was always there, for everyone in that way.  I guess that's what made her so special to me....  That willingness to always be there, no matter what. 
 
Thank you for all the life lessons Grandma, I hope I'm doing you proud!
 

September 1987 in Fridley, MN
Philip, Rita & Emily

 

Rest in Peace Rita Lucille - I hope you're watching all of us :)